People don’t take trips. Trips take people.
Here’s some stuff I don’t want to do in Paris:
Dine in trendy restaurants whose menus are peppered with buzzwords like deconstructed, foam, liquid nitro, and infused, and whose entrees are the size of a golf ball. I prefer to savor traditional French dishes, like coq au vin, beef bourguignon, soupe aux oignons, and mousse aux chocolat.
Visit Disneyland Paris. Even if we had the grandkids in tow, we wouldn’t spend valuable Parisian time with Mickey, Cinderella, or Buzz Lightyear. WDW outside of Orlando or Anaheim just seems wrong.
Discover that our cute little apartment is bug-infested. I shudder just contemplating it.
Video the Mona Lisa. When we saw her in ’96, the gallery was packed with tourists aiming their hefty Camcorders at her. Were they expecting Mona to burst into song? Instead of recording famous works of art, I plan to just look at them. My brain can store their images, or I can pick up postcards in the gift shop.
Climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower. There are about 668 steps, give or take, to the second level. I’ll take the elevator, si’l vous plait.
Eat at McDonald’s on the Champs Élysées. Maybe a big Diet Coke with ice, but a Big Mac? No way! Same goes for Pizza Hut or Subway.
Shy away from speaking un peu l’Francais. I’ve been studying and practicing all summer, so I hope I can avoid stage fright.
Hang a padlock on the Pont de l’Archeveche. This ugly and rampant love locks fad is destroying the bridges of Paris. Why doesn’t the city put a stop to this self-centered vandalism?
Shop at the Gap, the Disney Store, Abercrombie, Banana Republic, Guess, Nine West, Tommy Hilfiger, or any other place that also exists at the Fox Valley Mall in Aurora. I won’t be buying any Parisian couture either, but I might find my nose pressed to the windows at Chanel and Louis Vuitton. No euros needed just to look.
Whine. It may rain buckets, my feet may be killing me, some food may be subpar, the Metro may be packed with sweaty people, and a waiter may be snooty. But I will not whine. I’m in Paris for four weeks with the love of my life. Something wonderful is sure to be just around the corner.